Needing a Narcissist
I am not completely sure of this, and I can't cite statistics, but it seems that those abused by narcissists have a common problem -- a compelling NEED for that person. A feeling that you just cannot live without them.
Yet, when the narcissist is gone -- poof -- they immediately find that they didn't really need him or her. There is no grief or missing that person. The pain is wholly from the damage to the victim's self esteem -- not from the loss of a loved one.
And yet, renewed contact with the narcissist can start it all over again.
How does this happen? I don't really know. But I do know that narcissists go to great lengths to make you utterly dependent on them. In fact, this is one reason why they prey on their own children so heavily -- because children are the most dependent people in the world. Any kind of dependence is sought: financial dependence, dependence for moral support, and especially emotional dependence.
Instead of berating yourself for why you're loathe to divorce this spouse, parent, sibling, or friend, just ask yourself some hard questions. What are YOU getting out of the relationship? AND, do you NEED that?
It goes without saying that if the narcissist has come between you and others to isolate you (so that you have no one else to turn to for human companionship and support) re-establish those relationships pronto. Narcissists, like any predator, always try to cut their prey out of the herd. Don't let them succeed.