Thursday, March 06, 2008

Cure for independent-thinking-related mental-health disorders!

Audaceous hope via The Onion:

"Many individuals today lack the deep, abiding affection for drug makers that is found in healthy people, such as myself," Pfizer CEO Hank McKinnell said. "These tragic disorders are reaching epidemic levels, and as a company dedicated to promoting the health, well-being, and long life of our company's public image, it was imperative that we did something to combat them."

Although many psychotropic drugs impart a generalized feeling of well-being, PharmAmorin is the first to induce and focus intense feelings of affection externally, toward for-profit drug makers. Pfizer representatives say that, if taken regularly, PharmAmorin can increase affection for and trust in its developers by as much as 96.5 percent.

"Out of a test group of 180, 172 study participants reported a dramatic rise in their passion for pharmaceutical companies," said Pfizer director of clinical research Suzanne Frost. "And 167 asked their doctors about a variety of prescription medications they had seen on TV."

Frost said a small percentage of test subjects showed an interest in becoming lobbyists for one of the top five pharmaceutical companies, and several browsed eBay for drug-company apparel.

PharmAmorin, available in 100-, 200-, and 400-mg tablets, is classified as a critical-thinking inhibitor, a family of drugs that holds great promise for the estimated 20 million Americans who suffer from Free-Thinking Disorder.

DSM-I: 107 mental disorders
DSM-IV: 365 mental disorders

SATIRE

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8 Comments:

At 6:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm quite shocked about this perverted "cure" ... but I'm not sure if I really understood ... maybe it's because of my language difficulties and my translation is faulty about what sounds so unbelievable mad to me ?

Thanks for all you are sharing, Kathy ... I appreciate your thoughts.

Maybe one day I will be able to give you some examples of perverted treatment by psychotherapists ...

Greetings from overseas, Tobi

 
At 7:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe one day it will be possible to actually produce such drugs :o/
But the situation already is alarming .. there are so many people taking antidepressive drugs for years or decades, including patients who do not suffer from depression at all or depressive patients who do not actually improve and though doctors and the pharmaceutical companies affirm that antidepressiv drugs do not induce any danger of habit formation/addiction...

Tobi

 
At 9:03 AM, Blogger Kathy said...

I apologize! I am so used to being amazed at how well Europeans and others speak English that I get careless and didn't stop and think of how this would read to anyone with English as a second language.

The story isn't true. The Onion is a comedy website that invents ridiculous stories like this as satire. But you'd almost have to be a native speaker of English to catch the clues that it isn't serious.

 
At 11:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish I would be one of those who speak English amazingly well ... unfortunately I'm not, but my understanding has improved since I've been reading your blog ;o)
I fill my third vocabulary workbook now since I began to read English websites and your blog not only helped me concerning narcissists but also to learn lots of English words :)

When I read your post I thought that it is sort of satire, but when reading the article on the Onion website I got confused. I've never heard from Onion before and I had not checked what sort of site it is and sometimes I can be very slow on the uptake.

It's not your fault at all, you cannot always bear in mind what maybe could bring about misunderstanding.

Though I have already experienced/seen/read very crazy, perverted and unbelievable things, I feel rather embarassed that I took in consideration that the content of the article was serious meant and that it could be possible to produce such a drug. Blushed Tobi

 
At 12:34 PM, Blogger Kathy said...

You speak English a hundred times better than I speak French. And, with a narcissist, sometimes truth is even stranger than fiction.

 
At 2:53 PM, Anonymous Jordie said...

I don't think Tobi missed anything at all. The fact that he (she) recognised that the passage sounded 'unbelieveable mad', is a wonderful indication that the subtleties of the English language were making their presence felt. Well done.

This strange feeling that something is wrong is exactly how narcissists make you feel, n'est–ce pas?

As I always say, trust your gut!!

 
At 3:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, Kathy. :)

So true, that with a narcissist sometimes truth is even stranger than fiction. There are periods I get stunned by a narcissist nearly every day and often I felt like being put into sort of thriller ...

Tobi

 
At 7:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jordie, Tobi is a "she" ;o)

Oui, the strange feeling that something is wrong ... and sometimes a really mysterious spooky feeling! !!

Narcissists often remind me of the "Dementors", the sinister magical creatures in Harry Potter's world stealing people's souls, sucking all good thoughts and energies out of them, leaving behind only nightmarish painful memories ...
A "kiss" of them is felt as worst fate, worse than death ...

http://www.languagerealm.com/hplang/dementor.php

Think we need a "Patronus Charm" ;o)

Best wishes, Tobi

 

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