Have you noticed the following on some message boards?
Someone who has recently spit up with a narcissist vents. Most posters think nothing of it, remembering their own anger, and they readily supply what the victim of a narcissist needs: a hearing, understanding, and a response that tells the victim that he or she matters, that what was done to him or her wasn’t nothing. That’s what the victim has been devalued by being deprived of (not only by the narcissist but also generally by all “bystanders” who don’t know what a narcissist does to you).
Then somebody pipes up with a religious “testimony” (= preaching) that censures the victim’s FEELINGS as a sin and says that the victim would be as happy-happy-happy-and-carefree as she if only he gave his anger to God like she had.
Gag me with a spoon. Is that not exactly what the narcissist did to the victim?
Playing the “I-am-holier-than-thou” game is no different than playing the “I-am-smarter-than-thou” game or the “I-am-better-looking-than-thou” game or the “I-am-inherently-superior-to-thou” game in any of its myriad narcissistic manifestations.
That in itself should be a warning. Is this critic a narcissist themselves? Is this message board just a stalking ground for him or her? Could be. Narcissists DO stalk boards.
It is at least very likely that the holier-than-thou has never really been abused by a narcissist and is just whining on that board about some lover who couldn’t stand her holier-than-thou act and broke up with her.
Which is why I suggest that you not use your true identity on the Internet. When joining give an email address from a free email account, which can’t be traced to find your street address, phone number, and real name. And use an alias, not your real name.
A board is supposed to be a safe place for victims to air their feelings. But the holier-than-thous make it dangerous to do so. In fact, the "I-am-holier-than-thou" game is the most oppressive one of all. For, everyone fears the labels holier-than-thous put on people, which characterize you as bad. Moreover, when it gets to the point that victims dare not even feel their feelings without censure, that environment is about as oppressive as one can get.
As for what to do about a holier-than-thou coming down on a victim, that's a good question. It usually abruptly ends a thread. And perhaps the quiet wisdom of the masses is best. For, if you do attempt to defend the victim and deny that feelings are a sin, be prepared for a trip to the Argument Clinic. Funny how it's just like trying to make a point with a narcissist.