Monday, January 01, 2007

The Dissimulation Factor

Here is the start of a new article on the Main Website:

Any description of malignant narcissism must cope with an apparent contradiction: ordinarily, most people acquainted with a malignant narcissist don't see the narcissistic character traits in him or her. Sometimes this blindness can be well-nigh amazing. How does it happen?

The answer is that narcissists are magicians. Magic is the art of creating illusions. In this case, the illusion is their false image.

In other words, in this case the magical art is the art of con artistry. Every narcissist is a con artist. He has been learning and practicing the art since he was six or seven years old. So, by the time he's grown, even if he isn't particularly intelligent, sheer trail-and-error will have made him very good at fooling people.

In other words, a narcissist is a performer who manipulates perceptions, an actor who wears a mask.

Why? To know why, just put yourself in his shoes for a moment. You have to tear others down to feel good about yourself. So, you are their enemy. You will hurt them if you can. It's best if they don't know that....

Read the rest here.

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At 6:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been thinking about this for the last couple of days and I think that in the beginning, a naricissists view of themselves as being severely flawed and wicked is also a fantasy. The naricissists I know are very frightened people and I think that at a young age, they began to put on the evil inner image as a kind of gargoyle to protect them. Then the outer image develops as they mature and try to fit into society. A mature narcissist is a house of mirrors and has no more idea of who he/she really is than any of the rest of us. I find that the most binding trait amoung them all is magical thinking. They truly believe they can manipulate reality and make it as they need it to be. They fear above all things blunt truth as it shatters the inner mirrors by revealing the sham of their 'magic'. Once you have inadvertantly done so, they have no choice but to demean and slander you or completely cut themselves off from you for if their 'magic' is destroyed fully, they will simply cease to exist.



At 5:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pam, your observation is so spot on and so well explained. I think this is what it is all about, the trait of magical thinking is always there in N's. And when they 'know' that someone is on to them, they devalue and discard, no other choice.It is as soon as they feel they are not regarded as special they instantly throw someone away and no looking back.It happened to me twice and it left me devestated for too long but not anymore. We learn. My thoughts are that they often do this to people with strength as N's are frightened indeed, frightened for people with guts and personality.


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