Sunday, January 14, 2007

How do you win the game a narcissist plays?

You don't. At least, I know of no way to win it, and I don't think there is one. Irrationality and perversity are invincible.

So, it's a catch-22. You can fight all the time, which is no way to live. Or, you can just take it, which is no way to live.

What would "winning" be, anyway?

The rest.
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2 Comments:

At 5:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Winning" is arranging your life so that the narcissist never has access to anything you need or want. And if he/she does, offer ways they can "get rid of it" to avoid natural consequences, ie. loss of money, precious time, effort, inconvenience, poor reputation. Never get into a wrestling match and be willing to lose whatever they have which is yours, because the person who cares the least, wins.

 
At 7:33 PM, Anonymous Dandelion said...

Wow. Excellent description of the strategy I've been using with my husband for everyday stuff. It's a type of emotional detachment.

Of course, some modification is necessary as regards the kids. It's imperative to maintain an emotional connection with them. Strategy-wise, I've learned that I don't have to win every argument about how they're raised. I pick the things I'm going to insist on, and I'm firm and consistent on those, because sooner or later the N loses interest. Some of the smaller stuff I have been trusting my kids to figure out, which they've been doing very well. Choose your battles.

 

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