Sunday, January 07, 2007

How Treatment Can Make a Psychopath/Narcissist More Dangerous

It is often pointed out that treatment increases the recidivism rate and even makes the patient more dangerous. Here is one example of how that can happen.

Let's say that you're a narcissist in treatment. You flew into a rage at another patient yesterday. The therapist asks you about the incident. You say that you felt slighted by something that patient did and lost your temper.

The therapist knows, however, that you regained your temper in one nanosecond upon the arrival of a nurse.

"Yeah, so what?" you think.

But then as the therapist discusses this with you, she reveals that normal people don't just switch off their anger like that. You see that she is suspicious that you just lay in the weeds and go off at people whenever the coast is clear and they least expect it.

So, you have learned something valuable. Now you know how to fake real human behavior better. Now you can fool people better. You eventually learn enough to fool the therapists themselves, because they tell you everything you need to know in order to fool them.

She thought she was helping you explore your feelings and understand yourself. But she wasn't. She was just teaching an old dog new tricks.

This is why people entering therapy should be screened for psychopathy and narcissism. For, they need a radically different method of treatment than other patients. Simply because their behavior isn't based on normal human premises.

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At 6:45 AM, Blogger Louise said...

I THOUGHT eventually this topics would be covered! While we (her family and many friends) never were able to get LS into therapy, for chemical dependency or otherwise, my feelings are that she would have been like a wild animal in a trap- willing to say or do ANYTHING to 'get out' and be free again.

These people don't want to stop; the "problems" as they see it lie with their victims, not them! But as information makes US more aware, so it does THEM, too. And that increases the danger levels.

NC saved my family. When I finally took that step in Aug/Sep and told LS that any more contact would result in legal action, she spun further out of control. Within weeks, she had restraining orders (exactly what I had threatened) against her landlord, and he and her latest 'boyfriend' of 60 both had matching orders against her.

Trust your instincts- go with your gut- PROTECT YOURSELF. Until she died, I LIVED IN TERROR that she would come up here and kill me or my husband to kidnap our kids, who she had been so irrationally fixated upon. I'm sorry to say it, but her death has been a RELIEF.

Notify your local police pre-emptively and notify your schools if you feel you must. I spoke with our local chief at length to ask his advice in Nov and the schools back in Sep- ALL TOOK ME SERIOUSLY and did not say I was crazy, even though I wasn't sure I wasn't.

Discretely DOCUMENT- be careful. This is WAR; don't doubt it. I strongly think many of the murder/suicides probably have this type of power struggle at its root. I was scared of a SISTER- I can't imagine fear of a spouse or boyfriend.

At 8:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This makes me think that the problem is mostly nature. I have seen this also and there are those who don't think they need help no matter the consensus that they do. There are those who make themselves equal with God and any information that can aid them in their manipulation of others, their believed control over reality, is only assimilated into what they are. Psycho therapy can't change who they are and that is the crux of a true personality disorder. A disorder of the self is much deeper than therapy alone is able to reach.


At 11:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's unimaginable.
That I gave an entire community new and fresh ways to lie; that is absolutely the saddest news I will hear today.
Ah, well.
The good news is is that eventually everyone wakes up. It's a matter of time.

At 6:37 PM, Blogger Kathy said...

Join the club. I think it's pretty safe to say that we all have learned the hard way.

At 10:49 PM, Blogger Fighter said...

Kathy - once again your writing is powerful, insightful and right on point.

At 8:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I finally got my boyfriend to get/admit he needs some help, but of course he "forgot" his appointment as he seems to forget anything that does not suit him at that given moment in time. Finally got him to make a 2nd appointment (now he has agreed to because he needs help after dealing with me). At first I had some hope for therapy, but I know he will go in there and lie/manipulate the truth, he has a way of twisting everything to make it sound like he is so innocent, I just hope the therapist is smart enough to figure out the real problem, HIM. When I cry or tell anyone about our fights he says I'm just trying to make everyone feel bad for poor me, I just want sympathy. Now he tells me I am mentally abusive to him, THE SAME THINGS IVE TOLD HIM he now uses against me. His twisted comments and thoughts never cease to amaze me.

At 4:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm glad that this topic was covered also. My mother is the N and I had no contact for 3 years. However, this past year I have had a few phone calls with her. She asks me "why" I disappeared for a while but as memory serves me, and I can never forget or excuse the abuse, if I devulge any information about myself to her and the reasons surrounding the no contact they will always be used against me, twisted and turned to her advantage. A relationship with a narcissist is a no-win situation.

At 10:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Im a N and go in treatment. The only thing that can help me is to be able to get narcissistic supply in a positive no harming way. It is to see the devil as it is, but use it in a positive way. For me thats a motivation. I know with myself that i dont want to make people feel bad. Its not my goal nor intention. But if it happens than i dont care. This is a problem, and I can logicaly see this. To expose myself as the N i am, hopefully I can get accepted and try to use the personal traits in a good, non destructive way. This is for my best interest in the long run.

If i had a N in my life and was fed up I would therefor try to seduce the ego of the N to get treatment. If the therapist is any good he will stroke the ego of the N while channeling his/hers energy in constructive ways. Criticism is the worst way. Believe me when I say, that N does NOT want to be evil nor good, they are neutral(indifferent). Unlike psychopaths they are not evil on purpose. Im a 5 year old in heart as all N, but treatment has helped me. My advice: Either fool them into treatment or get away from them. Hope this is for some help. Steffen.


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