Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Mental Cruelty

The way society tolerates it, you'd think mental cruelty was no big deal. It's even appearing in the media, especially in Europe, where it seems to be regarded as funny. But making light of something doesn't make it funny. It does, however, destroy your sense of humor. People blow off bullying in schools with the line that the victim is "vulnerable" (= to blame) and that "every kid gets picked on." Making light of such weighty matters is what the parents of bullies do.

Mental cruelty. No big deal?

Read more here.

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4 Comments:

At 10:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The parents of a bully may make light of his/her behavior but when that child gets big enough, he/she will also bully their parents. There is also no form of abuse harder to confront than that of a child against a parent. When your kid abuses you somehow, it is always your fault and not theirs. That isn't always true because I know good parents who are abused by their children and society adds to their burden by placing the blame on them. That also emboldens the bully.

 
At 6:01 PM, Anonymous gh said...

You know, I think the reason mental cruelty is so much worse than physcail abuse is that it leaves no visible evidence. When someone beats you, there are bruises, broken bones, undeniable marks. A mental beating leaves psychological scars, too, for sure. But no one can see them. The mental abuser, who works in secrecy, can freely deny the abuse, and you have no proof of what he's done. he tells the world you are the crazy one, he is the victim, and it's your word against his.

I think the mentally abused often find themselves wishing it would turn physical -- so they might at last have a tangible injury to testify to their suffering, so they can say, "See? See this bruise? This is the person he is."

 
At 9:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

gh,

I agree with you and as a child, I knew that what my parents were doing to me was very painful and that something was wrong but I really didn't know how to express it. It shames me now but I would make up instances of physical abuse to tell my friends and somehow, it helped to be able to talk about what I couldn't name. I'm not trying to make excuses for lying but I know now that I was creating stories to express what was the reality of my home life. The scars left by the real psychological and emotional abuse are permanent in my person. I have overcome a great deal of what was done to me but I doubt that the pain will ever completely go away.

Pam

 
At 5:33 PM, Anonymous Barbara said...

WHAM! He is likely to take a psychotic break.

THANK YOU KATHY FOR SAYING THIS!! I know my ex N had a couple psychotic breaks when I found out about and exposed him. Others said "noooooo, Ns NEVER have psychotic breaks." I beg to differ. I lived it.

Masterful writing, as always

 

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