How's your Irony Detector doing? Let's take it for a ride.
Because of posts like my last one, people view me as a "hard-liner" about narcissists. I hold them responsible for their conduct because they can control it and freely choose to abuse. So I am mean and nasty and unsympathetic toward these poor abusers.
But who thinks more of them than someone like me? By taking this stand, I am giving narcissists equal status with the rest of us. I am acknowledging that they have minds, a will, and will power to choose.
In other words, people like me aren't the ones degrading narcissists to the level of mere machines with buttons that get pushed. Indeed, that is a status lower than most animals, who have a free will and will power to choose their behavior.
The inability to choose for yourself is absolute impotence. So, all these holier-than-thous who want to SOUND and LOOK and SEEM humanitarian (notice that it's always "humanitarian," never quite "human") are insulting narcissists with their condescending misplaced sympathy.
I think it's time these holier-than-thous stopped degrading narcissists (and all the mentally ill) this way and showed some respect for them by doing them justice as beings with a free will who can overcome temptation.
Narcissists are people who have perfected the virtue of stubborness, refusing to attain the Age of Reason for - whatever - 20, 30, 40 years. So, like little children, they have no conscience. Like little children, they have no regard for anyone or anything else. The moment they see that Mamma's back is turned, they do wrong and slap back on their angel-face again the moment she turns around. Life is simple for them: it's all about what they want, and they gotta have it NOW.
I say they should CHOOSE to grow up already. IF they wanted help, maybe then psychiatrists could help them. But don't hold your breath. They have no incentive to grow up.
And now, here's the kicker. Let's look at the other side of the coin.
I often say that it really does appear that narcissists have real predatory urges that the rest of us do not have, and that they have feelings in response to things that the rest of us do not experience. For example, because of their twisted thinking, they take a PLEA for them to have a heart as an ATTACK.
This bizarre feeling occurs in them because they are pretending to be so infinitely superior to you that they shouldn't deign to even notice relative vermin like you, let alone have anything but contempt for a bug like you. That's the image of themselves that they identify with, and you DO attack it when you behave as their equal. You are inadvertently challenging their delusion of grandeur. But if they can resist the temptation to eviscerate you for it when there would be witnesses, they can resist the urge to eviscerate you when no one is looking, too.
It is self evident that people cannot control their feelings. Neither normal people nor narcissists can. We can control their expression as emotion, which is part of controlling our conduct. But feelings themselves are not a matter of choice.
So, we can't polish our finger nails over not behaving like narcissists behave, because we are not tempted to. For example, you can't take pride in never having murdered anyone unless you have been tempted to and overcame that temptation.
But look what side of this issue the nicey-nice narcissist sympathizers are on. The wrong one again, as usual. The same people who won't hold others responsible for their conduct do hold others responsible for their feelings. There is hardly any natural feeling a person can have that they can't make out to be some sort of sin.
Anger is their favorite excuse for such extreme perversity. The poor narcissist isn't to blame for abusing his or her defenseless victim (in a rage), but that victim is doing evil by feeling angry about it.
Enough to make the head spin.
narcissistic personality disorder narcissism