Thursday, March 13, 2008

"Understanding" the Evildoer

Anna Valerious at Narcissists Suck in Angry with a Narcissist? Read On..."

You don't have read much of Sam Vaknin's fanciful ideas of what creates a narcissist to see how he relieves himself of responsibility for what he is by his explanations. Mother, society, genetics, abuse, neglect. Never is Sam Vaknin ultimately to blame for choosing to be a parasitic life form. Because he feels he can explain how he, the narcissist, came to be...he doesn't have to believe he is evil. To explain the etiology of evil will, inevitably, explain it away. Who exactly is helped by explaining away evil? Do we actually make evil go away by saying it doesn't exist? Do we change evil doers by not calling them evil? No, we only succeed in making it easier for evil doers to continue their life of crime.

Yes, the narcissist wants us to "understand" him. And those who take off on excursions into "understanding" evil (e.g., even with blatantly psychotic acts of mass murdering people for being the wrong kind, through Islamist jihad) inevitably end up excusing it, sympathising with it, and blaming the victim. Valerious says this is the underlying (and inappropriate) purpose of trying to "understand" this mystery of how people become evil. The next thing you know, they find the evildoing "understandable." (Just words, words, words. What's the difference if you mix them up a little?) That lessens it. Makes it less spooky.

The psychology establishment is a prime example of how explanations for evil have been used to do away with the entire concept that evil even exists. Pretending they have the ability to find a root cause for the problems of people's souls, they have been willing to rationalize even the most base behaviors of humanity into simple, even justifiable, reactions to their circumstances. They must paste the corruption somewhere -- so they lay it on society at large in order to give a pass to the individual in the mis-guided belief that the individual's sense of shame somehow explains why he acts out. This helps no one but the evil doer. Society then has to suffer the predation of evil individuals even while bearing the blame for the evil deeds perpetrated upon it. Society is you and me. Are you really willing to bear this kind of responsibility for the acts of another over which you have no power to stop or persuade from his evil course? I'm not.

Nor I. This crap that society is the evil one is more of the typical banality of sounding smart. They just completely reverse the obvious truth to end up with the the attacker (the narcissist) as the "victim" and his prey (us) as to blame for whatever he does to us.

Master that trick and you can pass yourself off as an intellectual at any cocktail party in San Francisco or Manhattan.

Don't fall for what passes for "truth" by the prescribers of false righteousness. They want peace at all costs. They are willing to overlook the crimes of abusers in order to keep things looking good on the surface. They want you to screw yourself by pretending someone didn't injure you, steal from you, slander you, etc. They demand you submit to bad treatment so they don't have to deal with anything as messy as your hurt or angry feelings at having been crapped on and screwed yet again. See what I'm saying? These people who condemn your negative feelings are demanding you put up with being raped. They are demanding your silence. In fact, in a real sense, they are piling on with the narcissist. They don't want to be inconvenienced by your justifiable reactions to evil deeds done to you or yours. Do not give moral weight to the opinions of someone who is only studying their own convenience and therefore willing to subvert justice in the name of a false peace or truce with evil.

Give up your quest to find peace at the cost of honesty. Be honest with yourself about what you feel. Attempts to lessen the guilt of the guilty is an illegitimate way to cope with your negative reactions to them. Accept the truth that a decent person should be angry and outraged at perverted and evil behaviors.

Read the rest.

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4 Comments:

At 9:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The type of logic SV uses struck me as very similar to the logic I heard on a TV interview the other day.

A notorious pedophile had served his prison sentence and was released from jail. The police warned the public that this was a mandatory release, but the public should be aware of his presence in the community, and his high likelihood to re-offend.

The pedophile used lines strikingly similar to SV's. He wasn't bad. The problem was that people don't understand him, they don't understand that it is hard for him, they don't know how he feels. Warp, distort, etc.

The problem for him is that people do understand how his victims feel. And since the victims have had no say in the matter, but an adult can choose his actions, people do not fall for this line of reasoning.

Things are not so clear when the N/P is merely an "ordinary guy", rather than a high-profile repeat sex offender. This is when the evil is not glaringly obvious, but flies under the radar most of the time. It is easier to believe doublespeak from someone who appears normal at first glance.

 
At 1:35 PM, Blogger Writer in Washington said...

Personally, I always think there has to be a "why" behind the "what". I guess it makes it easier for me to control my outrage. Anyway, the interesting thing about MNs is that they never take responsibility for anything they do wrong. Or if they do, its just to cry crocodile tears to manipulate you with. For the most part, their actions are so egregious that why they do it shouldn't matter. They should have to go to jail for all the evil they do, and maybe someday, it will be a crime to murder a person's character and reputation. Wouldn't that be wonderful??? :)

 
At 1:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's staggering when you realize what has been done. I made every excuse for him, gave every benefit of the doubt. And it hurt like hell when I realized what was really going on this guy was sucking the life out of me and I was somehow convinced I owed it to him to be patient and understanding. We're not talking about someone getting stuck in rush hour traffic now and again -- we are talking about someone sweeping you at the knees for no other reason than the amusment at seeing you fall. I am so relieved to come as far as I have from this, but I gotta say it doesn't always feel that way. I reread these things to keep health in and him out. Lightness beats the darkness, however it takes some doing....

 
At 1:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was so intrigued to find out why he bahaved the way he did. As if I could figure it out I would be healed somehow. I was twisted. This wasn't mine to fix-- I have a heart and affection, empathy, sympathy, I realized this is where he wanted me always thinking about him. As I forced myself away got a new job, a few friends and took care of my life I could feel my focus shift from him to me and I was happy. I would be grossly enthused to cause him dismay, by my own sucesses, however, I don't think he can see the truth. There would be no use in telling him off or "showing him" it was every man for himself. I truly belelive this relationship could have cost me my life and the well being of my children

 

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