Are Narcissists Unhappy?
The discussion at the post Cruel and Unusual Punishment took an ironic turn that you might like to check out.
To briefly summarize:
The post pointed out how narcissists suffer when they are alone. This happens when their sources of narcissistic supply dry up and they can't find another host. No mirrors, no mirage of a false self to identify with . . . they cannot keep unwanted knowledge and feelings suppressed. So, the normally rare and easily re-repressed moments of unwanted self-awareness become frequent and virtually assail them. These are the times when they look in the mirror, see their true selves, and think of suicide.
This is why you can punish a narcissist by simply locking her alone in a room as the post Cruel and Unusual Punishment says.
Some commenters took this post as supportive of their idea that narcissists are unhappy people who suffer greatly inside. But the post doesn't support that idea at all.
It says that to cause the narcissist to suffer, you must LOCK her in that room ALONE. In other words, you must deprive her of mirrors.
Otherwise she will make her life hunky-dory again by simply finding new hosts to con and parasitize = new mirrors.
Yes, deep down inside the narcissist is wretched and miserable, but you are committing an egregious error in logic if you fail to distinguish the level of this "suffering." Any suffering the narcissist experiences is repressed to the unconscious. So, is he really "suffering" at all?
No, he keeps getting high on his drug to kill that pain. He feels fine. In fact, he feels great.
Only in those rare moments when something happens to remind him of the truth about himself, so that the truth rises to consciousness, does he experience a twinge now and then. But what does he then do at the speed of thought? He represses it again!
Bingo! He's happy, happy, happy again.
In other words, he's happy 99.99% of the time. Wouldn't we all wish to be so happy 99.99% of the time?
Normally, narcissists have no trouble repressing the unwanted moments of self-awareness that would make them see themselves for what they are and feel bad about themselves. They think they are grand and perfect. It's great to be them. The VICTIMS they bleed are the ones who are miserable.
That's the power of self-delusion.
Some say, "Well then, why not be like a narcissist then, if being one is so wonderful?"
That's it! That's why psychopaths and other narcissists choose to be the way they are. FOR THE REWARDS IN IT. That's why treatment does no good. That's why you can never get through to them to change them.
Indeed, why should they change, abandon their delusions, and be miserable? As it says in scripture, "The wicked prosper."
They laugh up their sleeve at therapists and others who ASSUME that they must want to change. They think we're the crazy ones for choosing to burden ourselves with a conscience and empathy.
I think this is a crucial fact to face about them.
More on this subject later.
narcissistic personality disorder narcissism