A note on The Demon at the Door
Just an additional note on The Demon at the Door:
I think that a narcissist just cannot bear to look within and see the real him - that is, see what his choices along the way of life have made of the real him.
Hey, even a seven-year-old who tortures an animal crosses that line. He is never going to face what he's done. Indeed, he knew what he was doing, or he'd have had no interest in doing it.
When people cross that line into the realm of deeds that people just do not repent, they must repress awareness of what they've done. Which is why Dante put the souls of such in hell from the moment they did the deed, while yet their bodies roamed the world as living persons.
Is this judgement of religion unforgiving? No, it's just a fact. He does not repent, so he cannot be saved from his sin. It compels him onward, on a runaway freight-train ride.
Guess what that is? It's something called "slavery to sin."
It's too bad that concepts like that become cliches that lose all meaning. But that's what this cliche, "slavery to sin," means. Yesterday's sin is your master; it's driving you, controlling you, like a slavemaster, against your will.
Hence, Jesus of Nazareth's famous saying: "Know the truth and the truth will set you free."
Everyone is loathe to know the truth even about their mere mistakes. So imagine how loathe a narcissist is to know the truth about the malicious things he's done. It's naive to think he or she ever will.
So they are slaves, slaves to their own sins, like that snowthrower was a slave to the mistake he made, which compelled him to do it again, despite now knowing the harmful effect of his actions. In other words, slavery to his mistake made him worse, because now it wasn't an innocent mistake: it was rude and reckless of our property and well being. He stepped that far down the ladder of morality in ten seconds. So, imagine how far down a narcissist gets in ten years.
Which is why theologians say that the only unforgivable sin is the unrepented one. His victims may manage to feel all sorts of warm fuzzy sentiments for him, but he has not been forgiven. He hasn't been forgiven one penny of his debt. Because forgiveness is real, a powerful and saving thing. Not a mere warm fuzzy sentiment that people can lie about having.
Here again, you needn't be religious to see this truth in this. No therapy that doesn't take it into account has a snowball's chance in Hell of succeeding.