866 Responsibility Dodging Excuses for Abuse
From Sanctuary for the Abused:
Abusers will minimize, justify, deny, distort, lie about and blame others for their behavior to escape consequences, It is our responsibility to hold them accountable.
Then follows a list of 866 abusers' excuses produced by the Alternatives to Domestic Aggression (ADA) Program of Catholic Social Services of Washtenaw County.
It includes my favorites, like "That's just the way I am."
Ever heard that one with your Irony Detector functioning? If you did, then you know it's a joke.
The subliminal suggestion is that you just have to put up with the narcissist, because that's just the way they are = they can't be any different. Tough cookies.
Let's run a logic check on that. "The way they are" is abusive to you. Thus, with that slick talk they "reason" that you must tolerate anything they feel like doing to you.
How's that for crazy? So, you have no right to do anything about how they treat you. They can insult you, but you mustn't insult them back. They can hit you, but you mustn't hit them back. They can slander you, but you must keep their bad deeds a secret for them.
Jeez, was it the innocent who made the rules of this game? I think not. I think the rules of this game were dreamed up in Hell.
That gives the narcissist anti-reason to ever stop abusing you. And you were born yesterday if you don't realize that people will never stop doing a bad thing to you unless you make sure there are adverse consequences to hurting you.
By this Nimrodean nonsense the narcissist denies you the right to decent treatment. Because narcissists just can't help it, you see: they have to take a crap on someone every so often, and you are handy. The poor things. THEY are in pain!
This joke has a double punch line.
The next one is that - guess what a narcissist is usually getting mad at you about? Think back. It's usually over some vague rendition of you just being the way you are. Yes, everything about you is always "too this" or "too that" for them to tolerate.
Like maybe you don't smile enough. Maybe you're too sensitive. Or maybe you're too into sports. Or maybe you're not receptive enough to their criticisms of you. (That's one of their favorites.) Whatever. Though you just being the way you are has no effect on him or her whatsoever, God need not tolerate you being that way.
How's you irony detector doing now?
In other words, you have no right to be the way you are = you have no right to be. You are not the author of your self, the narcissist should be = the narcissist owns you. He or she has the right to determine what you should be.
Indeed, how many times have you heard your narcissist say that they "don't have to put up with that" = the way you are?
That is crazy. Now you see why narcissists must control you. Because they cannot control themselves.
They are children in adult bodies. When children go wild it is some grown-up's fault for not preventing them them from doing wrong. Right? For example, if children destroy property, Mom and Dad are responsible. If children run amok in a classroom, the teacher is responsible. Right? Children are irresponsible. Narcissists like it there in Never Never Land and never leave.
Read the other 865 jokes from the Big Babies' Club here.
narcissistic personality disorder