Arguing Just to Argue
I think that my long experience with narcissists has given me a sore spot. I really am bugged by any irrationality in others. It's easy to see why. Narcissists use irrationality as a debating tactic. It's wall of flak they throw up to block communication. A way of making sure you make no point. A way of making sure nothing gets through the wall of flak they throw up.
Been there. So I have no patience with unreasonableness in others. This is odd, because I am very patient with others in just about any other way you care to name. But the moment they are being unreasonable, look out. I REALLY don't like that.
I guess we all (wrongly) assume others are like ourselves. When I am discussing or debating an issue with someone, I really believe what I'm saying. If you make a point or raise a valid, cogent argument against my opinion, or cite facts contradictory to to it, I won't just deny them and throw up a wall of straw men and irrationality and other rhetorical devices in an exercise of verbal dodgeball. I will consider what you say. I am open to changing my mind.
It wouldn't embarrass me at all to do that - to say, "Well, I guess you're right. You changed my mind."
This isn't because I'm not a competitive person. On a tennis court you should see how competitive I can be! But everything has its place, and competitiveness does not belong in friendly personal relations. At least not to my way of thinking.
So, the moment I sense the hypocrisy of arguing just to argue (like a narcissist does, because he or she MUST win), I get ticked off.
I wonder if others feel the same. I wonder if sensitivity to this isn't a result of long experience with (deliberately) irrational narcissists who argue just to argue at the level of a three-year-old.
In my case I think it is. I came to hate that blathering fog horn of irrational flak so much that the moment I sense anyone arguing just to argue, I am done with them. I have zero patience for that. Narcissists used it all up.