A very hard fact to face
It seems to me that a malignant narcissist can't help his or her temptations, predatory urges. Maybe they are the fruit of a lifetime of twisted thinking and therefore the narcissist's own fault ultimately. Maybe not.
For example, if you are addicted to heroin, your desire for it today is the end of a path you chose to take and never repented from. We should understand how strong your temptation is, and we have no right getting up on a moral high horse with respect to you, because we don't have to resist such a strong temptation.
But that's where understanding ends. You COULD quit. Many people do! Look how many people quit smoking for the minor reason that it became politically incorrect. Millions quit drinking annually. Multitudes give up a drug habit. Often without treatment or any 12-step program. So your addiction is your fault.
Moreover, if for the money to get your next hit of heroin you murder somebody for the cash in their wallet, your temptation/addiction is no excuse.
You are responsible for your conduct. The same with a malignant narcissist. If you abuse someone for the high you get out of treating others like dirt, that addiction to the high is no excuse.
This is the egregious logical error narcissist sympathizers make: they regard the TEMPTATION to do something as an EXCUSE. Absurd. They regard the TEMPTATION to do something as acquitting the perpetrator of ILL WILL. Even more absurd. What cloudy thinking.
Indeed, malignant narcissists prove (a) that they know what they're doing and that it's wrong and (b) that they CAN resist the urge and thus control themselves. (If that isn't obvious to you, see the proof here.) They just don't. Think what that means.
What's more, those are the criteria for determining sanity. In other words, malignant narcissists are NOT insane and therefore ARE responsible for what they do. This is why they go to jail for crimes they commit, despite a diagnosis of NPD/psychopathy.
What does this mean? It means that it is dangerously naive to remain within arm's length of a malignant narcissist. Because of how that TEMPTS them, you might as well dangle yourself as bait before a predator. Only professionals, who are safe (as in a controlled psychiatric environment), should be messing with them. You cannot help them, because in you all they see is mouth-watering prey.
A very hard fact to face. A very, very hard fact to face.
narcissistic personality disorder narcissism