Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Playing it Safe on the Web

I'm sure most of you know this, but for those new to the subject, here is some practical advice.

For people as self-absorbed and seemingly uninterested in you as malignant narcissists are, they are very snoopy. They go through your drawers and papers. They are looking for dirt, and they are trying to find out if you're on to them. Hence, like all abusers, they often spy on and stalk their victims.

If you are being abused by someone who has access to your computer, know that he or she can access information that tells them what Websites you've been visiting and whom you've been emailing. It's not at all hard to prevent this. Here are instructions on how to prevent it.

In fact, this is why I don't post testimonials on my sales page for the book.

Narcissists stalk prey on the Web, as well. Often they do this by posing as a victim and trying to initiate contact with some hurting person who posts in a group or blog. Therefore, when posting to any group or blog, you should use a screen name and be leery of forming a relationship with anyone out there who emails you privately and tries to strike one up with you. It's also best to use a free email account for posting to groups and blogs, because the providers of free email accounts do not require you to give your real name and street address (like your ISP does).

Free email accounts are readily obtainable from many sources, such MSN, Yahoo, and so forth. All they require is a screen name you make up and a password.

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At 11:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kathy. . .

All good advice for sure. . . another thing is that I don't write anything that I haven't already said to the other person. . . like anyone else who may be at the receiving end of an N, my first instinct is to try and understand the behavior for the sake of the relationship - hence posting on a site like yours, but I am learning that is perhaps naive - they don't care if your motives are pure.

It's nuts that after being treated with indifference, etc. that one might still be concerned about the ultimate welfare of the other person. I guess that's why we hurt and they don't and that's what it's all about in the first place.

I'd still like to know if you tell someone that you suspect them of being an N or that they exhibit some of the characteristics - not that it would do any good except provide you with some level of vindication in your own mind.

At 8:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The narcissist I know put one of those spy programs on his soon-to-be ex-wife’s computer. They cost only about fifty bucks, and they even come in the variety that will secretly e-mail log pages (to a pre-set address) of every key stroke you type, as well as records of every site you visit. Even screen-shots. These things hide among your computer files and are nearly impossible to detect, even with anti-spy software.

He kept up with her activities and her private correspondence with her lawyer during their bitter divorce. Probably still does, the sick twist.

At 9:29 PM, Anonymous Fighter said...

Good advice - and narcs attack via the web too. And use the web as a huge hunting ground.

Our site is living proof of that.

At 4:35 PM, Blogger rys said...

A member of my Ns enabling posse let it slip that they found something about me on the web. It was nothing, but that means they are looking. I ran a search myself (knowing what 'it' was) and found that this person had to do some substantial digging just to find it. Never underestimate an Ns persistance.

At 7:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's surely a blessing and a curse.

When I became suspicious of my N, I used Google and uncovered several of his lies in about fifteen minutes. The crazy things he lied about were so easy to find, it blows my mind to this day!

At 9:14 PM, Blogger jim said...

Just found this site and used the safe stuff to clear my history.

Our marriage therapist believes my wife is a N.

I have read a lot of info and I am fairly sure she is a N.

She blew off the therapist as if he did not have proof and it was a scheme between him and me.

How do I handle a N wife?

We have not slept together for 6 years now because I put my foot down and would not go along with her ways.

At 10:31 AM, Anonymous Rachel said...

You can also hide your IP address so the person you're stalking doesn't even know it. I found out the hard way.


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