Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Mixed Up Priorities

Much craziness is due to mixed up priorities.

Narcissists lead the pack in this. They still have the priorities of a three-year-old. In other words, they themselves and what they want are their ONLY priority.

They are the epitome of the "What's-it-to-me?" type. The narcissist says, "What's it to me if you are damaged by how I treat you or your name to make myself feel grand?"

They just don't care. They have one priority - to use everything and everyone in their environment to sort of masturbate their ego. They are so obsessed with this priority that it has put blinders on them. Nothing else matters.

You may not want to admit it, but you mean absolutely nothing to them. They'll pound you with a hammer as thoughtlessly as they'd pound a nail with one.

They don't care about the consequences to you. They don't care about the morality of what they're doing. But that isn't all. They don't care about many other things as well, things they would care about if they had any sense. For example, they don't care about the future consequences. And if, for example, the matter is involved in business dealings, they don't care how bad it is for business.

Stroking their ego is their one and only priority. It's crazy and leads them to do crazy, self-destructive things.

But narcissists aren't the only ones who get mixed up priorities.

Many people make what others think and say about them their top priority. The notorious bystander to abuse is a good example. Nothing else matters to them. They are so obsessed with looking and sounding and seeming good that actually BEING good means nothing to them at all.

So, what do such people do when bashing Jews, blacks, or Americans wins a person approval in their world? Bash away, that's what. That's "good" in their eyes, the "right thing to do." They should turn that Jew in to the Nazis and then move into his vacated home. That's what good little boys and girls do, you know.


In other words, their mixed up priorities confuse being good with having a good reputation. They, just like the narcissist, don't care about the damage to others. They are just as inhumanly unfeeling about that.

Even in minor matters, mixed up priorities cause a lot of harm. If you play tennis (especially if you ever read The Inner Game of Tennis by Timothy Gallwey) you know about the obsession with "proper form" in this sport. Way too many players care more about how they swing and move their feet than about where the ball goes!

Really. They forget that it's a game and is about the score. To them it becomes a mere exercise in executing forehands and backhands "the right way."

Pure folly.

Mixed up priorities. Perhaps the root of all human folly.

We touched on an example in the post mentioning George Orwell's essays taking on his fellow leftists before and during World War II. He was furious with the left, especially the intelligentsia, for its mixed up priorities.

They had only one priority in Britain (and North America), to promote the ascendancy of socialism over capitalism. It put blinders on them. They lost their moral compass and sunk to demonizing their political opponents, condemning EVERYTHING those opponents said and did.

Even when it meant sympathizing with a real demon - Adolph Hitler and the Nazi fascists. You know: "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" ... though he be the Devil himself.

And so we witnessed the bizarre phenomenon of British intellectuals opposing every security measure (claiming that it would be the end of civil rights) and the defense of their own country...just to condemn and oppose as evil everything their political opponents said and did.

Their poor opponents were in power and saddled with the responsibility of defending the country, so the reckless left could irresponsibly scream bloody murder at everything the government did.

Who did these clowns think the Nazis would have eliminated first? THEM, that's who. Yet, here were leftist intellectuals condemning and trying to stop the war effort that was FEEDING them at the cost of British sailors' lives!

So, narcissists aren't the only ones who go nuts and start playing Pretend because of their mixed up priorities. You needn't be crazy to get your priorities mixed up. But if you get them mixed up, you will soon be doing crazy things.

I have found that it is important to be really honest with yourself. To consciously ponder your priorities. To ask yourself why you are tempted to do this or that. Then you can see if you motives are vain folly or not and whether they will only bring you further grief. Then you can make sure that what you do always makes sense and acts in the right direction = toward a better life for yourself.

If you do this, what other people say and think about you will never become your top priority and control you like a puppet.

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At 11:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are religious leaders narcissists? Could you explain how? If I choose a church what are the signs that the pastor has a control problem?

At 12:17 PM, Blogger Kathy said...

Some are. But you can't characterize this group of people that way.

Now, a guy like Jim Jones was a religious leader I'd bet had NPD. I don't know enough to feel sure, but what I do know had red flags in it. OBL is another one that sets off the red alerts. It doesn't take much thought to see that religious leadership is the perfect mask for the devil to hide behind.

But so is the political messiah type like der Fuhrer.

Narcissists who are intellegent often rise to high positions, because their willingness to stoop to anything serves them well in their efforts to climb over others on the way to the top. So, I don't think NPD is all that rare among the upper echalonds of religious and political leaders. But that's not to say that it's common, either.

Look at the Red Flags on the Main Website. Control Freakism is probably the most evident outward sign, though it doesn't prove anything all by itself. Demonizing others. Those close to them will see their shock tactics at work too.


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