How to Feel Happier
The other day I saw an ad on the Web offering advice on "how to feel happier."
"How to feel happier."
I should have snapped a screen shot, but I didn't. Still, ads and stuff like that are common enough that everyone has probably seen it or one like it.
I won't make you pay for the answer though. To make yourself feel happier, take Prozac or two dry martinis.
Shall we get serious now?
But I WAS serious. That's how you alter feelings - with drugs or self-imposed delusions. That isn't honest. And since when is it mentally healthy to be dishonest with yourself?
This idea that we control our feelings and that they should be disconnected from stimuli that cause them is doing great damage in Western society. It is absurd and ridiculous.
It is self-evident that external stimuli cause our feelings. We can only lie to ourselves about our feelings: we can't change them.
This is as true of psychological feelings as it is of physical feelings. Those feelings are processed to produce emotions. Emotions motivate behavior, but they do not control it - not unless the rational mind cedes that function.
Emotions are not bad. Often, without strong emotion, we would not have the motivation to act, even though our rational mind sees that we should act. Hamlet, for example, was greatly tempted over time to just allow the murder of his father to pass. It was his strong emotions that kept him on task, though he never gave in to their fury, which tempted him to just murder Caludius and be done with it.
So, emotions are necessary. Without them we are paralyzed. Reason and emotion must work together (even fight with each other now and then) in the mind of a properly functioning human being.
What's more, the entire gambit of human emotions includes both negative and positive ones. If you take away the negative ones, what have you got? Is there any such thing as "happy" if you don't know what it is to be sad? Can you even FEEL happy unless you also know the feeling of being sad?
I'll tell you what the result of this idiocy is = total numbness.
This rot doesn't even pass a basic nonsense check.
It's fear-based, the product of a mentality that wants to insulate itself from the world so that nothing can make it feel bad, so that nothing bad can happen. It's an attempt to control your "little world" just like a narcissist tries to control hers - through authoring a work of fiction.
Plus, it's just another way to blame the victim for their feelings. They talk as though people just feel things out of the blue. They never breate a hint of blame for a feeling like unhappiness on hardship, abuse, abandonment, unfair play, war, illness, troubles in the home, or anything else. They always blame it on some imaginary inadequacy in the person feeling unhappy.
Maybe THEIR feelings are always phony put-ons like a narcissist's mask, but not everyone's are.
The people promulgating this junk are treating your unhappy feelings as the problem - not the real problem = whatever is causing those unhappy feelings. That's stupid. That approach precludes any solution to the real problem.
They treat your unhappy feelings as a weakness, a character flaw in you. Does that make sense?
According to them, you should correct this flaw. What does that mean? It means that the FLAW isn't in anyone causing your unhappiness. The FLAW is anyone made unhappy by their actions.
Right, the sin is in being unhappy, not in making others unhappy.
These scrambled-eggheads must have to keep half their brains shut down at all times to avoid a crash that takes the whole system down.
Look what they're saying. According to them, you are "responsible" for your feelings, so, in the middle of a war zone, you are to blame for being unhappy and you should therefore be a good boy or girl (so as not to rain on our day) by being "happy" instead.
And when professionals cash in on these memes, that really sucks.
They don't all do that though. When looking for a good one, look for one with a rational and sensible approach to feelings. One who never encourages you to repress them. One who will tell you that are times when you should get angry. One who helps you DEAL with them and GET THROUGH the pain.
Until you do that, you never will heal. Ironic, eh? By denying your real feelings, you never do heal so that you CAN be happy again. You just turn yourself into a numb zombie who acts "happy-happy-happy" all the time while feeling miserable deep down inside.
narcissistic personality disorder narcissism