One reason why the victims don't face facts about a narcissist is because we don't want to face the fact that we mean nothing to them. The ego doesn't want to know that. For, being valued by another at absolute zero is a degrading value judgement.
When this is someone in your family, that fact is traumatic. We think about how much we have loved them, how often we have stuck up for them, how many times in the past we sacrificed for them. And here all along they cared NOTHING for us in return!
They just fed off us like a parasite, taking us for a sap.
This is why denial is so dangerous. Facing facts, no matter how unpleasant, is better. Because when you do address the issue in your mind, you see who is degraded by the narcissist's refusal to relate humanly to human beings.
Not the human beings, that's for sure.
Knowing that makes you able to accept the truth about them. And when you accept the truth about them, you break the cycle of abuse.
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