Monday, May 21, 2007

How to Control a Narcissist's Ears

One of the recent comments reminded me of my all-time favorite narcissist line. I asked this narcissist "Why do you try to control everything I say?"

She didn't view that as her trying to control me. She yelled back like a petulant child stamping her foot, "Well, YOU'RE trying to control my ears!"

I was speechless.

That's definitely below educably mentally retarded.

But five minutes later, they're solving the Quadratic Equation, so don't try to tell me that they aren't willfully cracked.

Let's untangle this mishmash in the N's head. By saying what you think, instead of what they want you pretend with them, you are controlling their ears. In other words, everything they hear should be controlled by their (lying) ears, not by the things that make the sounds.

Bizarre. But then that's the way things are in the looking glass, in the Land of Pretend. They make up the world the way they want it to be, not the way it is. That's what they're up to when they try to control what you say and do, when they tell the most bizarre patholigical lies about what happened right there on the spot two seconds ago. They're just making it all up as they go along. A work of fiction. That IS NPD.

And they get really mad when you don't follow their script. Kinda like they're the author and you're just a character (not a person, a human being - a fictional character) who should follow their script.

So, it should be no surprise that these willful idiots think that way. If they were truly unintelligent, I wouldn't make fun of them. But who is stupider than someone who thinks it's smart to be so stupid and does it willfully just to think rot? Such people deserve no pass for that.


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5 Comments:

At 8:49 AM, Anonymous nina said...

I want you to know, your blog keeps me sane. I have not become crazy as my NPD/psychopath said.

This helps reinforce I am not to blame. Not tedious, not desparate...

So many nasty things, all came downtothe idea he was doing me a favor...

My favorite when he whisphered:"You're a sociopath."

Ha.

Keep up the good work, I pass along all I learn. These creeps are everywhere.

 
At 7:26 PM, Anonymous Barbara said...

"willfully cracked" - excellent analogy.

Story: My ex-NH dragged me to marriage counseling (I took him 2x what a mistake, he took ME when I tried to leave him - the counselor was totally on his side - a real idiot).

He would whip out his palm pilot and go on fishing expeditions to try to find out what I was up to. (I wasn't up to anything other than having a life that didn't involve him after years of being cut off)

One day I had blown up at him and told him IN JEST I was going to put a spell on him to get nose cancer.

About 2 weeks later Mr. Marathon Runner in 100F heat and sun developed a spot of skin cancer on his leg. (He's had other spots of it too)

Guess who was to BLAME?

So he tells the counselor - I'd put a CURSE on him.

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS the counselor asked me to remove the curse.

I stared at both of them and just starting laughing. They were not amused.

She asked me again to take off the curse.

So I said "sure - rama-lama-ding-dong, the curse is gone"

Then I got up and left.

True story.

This is a N who works on WALL STREET handling high level information, some for the U.S. Government.

'nuff said

 
At 2:15 AM, Blogger Kathy said...

Sometimes it's hard to say who I'm more disgusted with, the narcissist or the bystanding clowns who fall for him/her.

In those cases where I've been in a position to see what motivates them, I have seen that they are acting in self interest and are invested in the side they take.

For example, when it comes to believing a narcissist's slander about you, they often do so because it enables them to feel "better than" you. Which is narcissistic in itself.

It's the same with both indivudual slander or collective slander like anti-Semisism or anti-Americanism.

In the case of a counselor, you might have something at work similar to what some doctors do. They have a bit of a God complex, and when all-knowing they can't tell what is wrong right away, they jump to the conclusion that it's all in your head. They are just protecting their delusion of grandeur, unable to be humble and keep looking for the answer, to admit "I don't know," and to keep searching for solutions like a mere fallible human being often must. You could see something like that going on with a counselor too. In fact, since the profession attracts more than its share of narcissists, there is the possibility that the counselor is a narcissist herself.

So, in my experience, they aren't innocently fooled by the N.

 
At 6:38 AM, Anonymous Lynn0407 said...

Hi, I've been lurking for quite some time, but I have to pass comment on Barbara's experience at the counsellors. Are you for real? Man, that is just so crazy to comprehend.

I've had the same thing with Counsellors, the N fools them every single time.

The last time my N went to a counsellor, she told him he was abusing when he made threats, so he never went back!

"nuff sai...

 
At 11:09 AM, Blogger kathy said...

May I chime in? I've just emerged from a 10 month relationship with a profound narcissist and felt like I was slowly losing my mind by the end. He completely consumed me...I still have no idea how he did but it was a combination of mind games, telling me I was "crazy," controlling me sexually (while he personally was unable to even ejaculate during any kind of sex -more on that if any one has had a similar horrific experience) and calling me anti-semetic names and degrading terms for women. I am Catholic, very well educated, successful business woman and mother AND had a profoundly NPD mother - who was also diagnosed as bi-polar while I was in high school. No doubt I was a prime candidate for this man - who was in the final throes of his 3rd marriage, but still able to woo me (and I am NOT easily seduced) with his intelligence (2 degrees from Ivy league school, including a PhD in Math) charm and overwhelming sexuality (again - he was obsessed with controlling me sexually and regular intercourse was rare and, if it did happen, never ended with an orgasm for him). I am just at a loss for words now - How did I let myself be caught in his web? I never knew where he was during the day - always "in meetings" yet not in the office when I would call, would show up in the evenings disheveled and looking as if he had just had marathon sex...I just need to have some one read this and let me know if anything like this ever happened to them. Also, he was intent on telling me constantly how much he "loved" me, that I would be his next wife, I would never have sex this great with anyone else, I was the most beautiful, intelligent etc...I do feel like he stole my soul. I want it back!

 

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