Monday, June 04, 2007

The Heart of Malice

A narcissist's need to have it all is something one must see, I'm afraid, to believe.

It literally pains a narcissist to see anyone else get any. "Any" being any credit, appreciation, praise, recognition - whatever - just any form of what one narcissist I know called "sugar." It's just any form of the regard and respect human beings show each other in human relations, that stuff by which we VALUE other human beings as WORTHY of any regard.

Narcissists are pigs who gotta have it all. They begrudge anyone else any. Like three-year-olds who haven't been taught to share.

Doubt it? Just watch a narcissist while anyone present is getting credit for something or is being thanked or praised. He or she will look just sick.

He acts HURT by it. Short changed, cheated of what rightly belonged to him. It's as though any shine on anyone else diminishes the glow of God Almighty's glory.

He's gotta smear that shiny spot on the other person and immediately sets about doing so. The mental illness doesn't take away the sheer malice in that. Yes, malice. If you want to deny others treatment as WORTHY of any credit or regard or respect, you are trying to impose on others treatment as UNWORTHY of any credit or regard or respect. That's malice.

And other mentally ill people are not malicious like that.

In fact, it's as though a narcissist really does have himself confused with God and thinks the Bible verse applies to him that says 'all glory, laud, honor, praise, and thanksgiving belongs to him forever and ever amen.'

Get any and he thinks you're stealing it from him. Like a three-year-old who screams because her little brother has one of the toys.

That narcissist will take it away. Because the brat has just gotta have it/them all.

This is why narcissists go through life trashing others and robbing them of their due. It's what gives them the mentality of the rapist who goes around tearing others "down off that pedestal."

That isn't just mental illness: that's the heart of malice.

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At 5:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have begun to suspect that malice is the cause of the disorder - not merely a piece of it. I think it is possible that we can "make ourselves sick" in a lot of ways, and this is one of them. Do you think so?

At 5:27 PM, Blogger Kathy said...

Yes, I suspect that too.

I think it's not just the malice but the refusal to leave Never Never Land and grow up to live in the real world, the stubborn remaining in the child's world behind the Looking Glass of Pretend.

Like anything - like a drinking problem for example, if you don't stop it, you are going to kill yourself. Some people do. A narcissist really does kill his true self.

At 7:29 AM, Anonymous gh said...

Yep -- the refusal to grow up, and the malicious attacks on anyone who expects Peter Pan to grow up.

At 12:03 PM, Blogger Kathy said...

The malice is there. There's no denying it. Yet those who insist on viewing NPD as just another mental ilness obscure that fact.

Why? So that a known narcissist isn't ostracized?

How awful if people should stay away from him or her! How awful if potential victims were warned!

Reminds me of the attitude of certain Bishops toward sick-in-the-head priests. "Let's keep what they are a secret, so that potential prey aren't forewarned to stay away from them."

And the kicker is that, what does an N go through life doing every day? Getting his or her victims ostracized through character assassination.

At 11:24 AM, Blogger kathy said...

I'm continuing my comments about a 10 month intense relationship with a 51 year old man. I just saw the references to Never Neverland and Peter Pan. He constantly called me "Tink," bought me age innapropriate gifts from Disney stores re. Peter Pan (I'm 48, he's 51), wanted to runaway with me to Never Neverland and this man has a Phd in Math. He lived in a parallel universe, truly. I could see by the end that he was becoming completely disconnected from reality - his grip was already tenuous when we met but it was severed by the end. I really need to read comments about sexual relationships with men like this. I've never seen a mature, intelligent, experienced man have such obsessions, bizarre fetishes and inability to have any kind of normal sex. Where does the Peter Pan complex play into the Narcissistic and, possibly, Sexually Addictive personality?


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