Friday, September 28, 2007

The Endless Perversity of Narcissism

Here are a couple interesting new comments on old posts that I think you'll appreciate.

Comment 1 and Comment 2.

I dare say that the more I hear, the more I think that treatment does more harm than good.

Nothing you see in them is real. It's all art. It reminds me of some old Star Trek episodes where aliens attack by making you think you see things. Things that aren't there. Nothing, nothing, nothing from a narcissist is genuine. It's all for effect. No wonder they say they feel like they don't exist when alone. They don't. THEY don't ever exist. They're just acting out a character in a work of fiction. Like all art, it's 100% for effect on its audience and 0% functional or for real.

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Thursday, September 27, 2007

Woops - You told the wrong whopper!

Ahmadinejad says

In Iran, we don't have homosexuals like in your country. We don't have that in our country. In Iran, we do not have this phenomenon. I don't know who has told you that we have it.

Count 'em: 1...2...3...4 denials. Hmmm. Struck a nerve, eh? Methinks the lady doth protest too much. How much do you wanna bet?

See him do it here and enjoy the audience's reaction at Columbia University.

That's what happens when a smart ass mocks us to our faces with THE WRONG insult our intelligence - one that it would be politically incorrect to dummy-up for.

One wishes the audience had the integrity and self respect to always be so honest and never pretend that we really are too stupid to know better.

Bullshitters should never get a pass. What the audience did is better than arguing, just mock the mocker to turn the joke on him.

Oh, and by the way, they surely have a shortage of homosexuals over there . . . because they regularly execute them. Maybe he doesn't read the newspaper though.

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Narcissists and the Language of Babel

Quite a few years ago, I saw a documentary on TV about batterers. Unfortunately, I can’t remember the name of the program or the expert being interviewed, but what he said I think is self evident to anyone who has ever tried to communicate with an abusive person.

What was it? He pointed out that in arguments between the victim and the batterer (not beatings, just arguments), the victim always argued circles around the batterer, beating him hands down. I mean she whupped him.

They actually captured examples on film, from counseling offices and even from cameras placed in the home.

This should be no surprise. Of course she whupped him to shame. Reason was 100% on her side. He either had to concede her points or be totally irrational and blow back a wall of gibberish and bullshit at her, like a character in a Monty Python skit.

Any fair and rational judge of the debate must award the victory to her, by pinning him on every point.

If you live or work with a narcissist, you know that all you ever get is fallacious arguments from them.

But we get so used to the irrational blather of these people that we grow tired of fielding it all and blasting it by exposing it for the nonsense and gobbdygook it is.

So we need to remind ourselves now and then that the way people use language can be a red flag.

I know of a narcissistic administrator who ordered his charges to do despicable and even illegal acts while remaining unaccountable simply by issuing these orders in the Biblical language of Babble.

What is it? It’s confused language, language that confuses things with what they ain’t. I have given examples of this before, like confusing patriotism with nationalism to make patriotism sound like a vice.

If you examine Babble closely, you see that it is nonsense, language as literally meaningless as the babbling of baby. Just noise. Blather.

Nonetheless, listeners get the message the babbler intends from it. How? Through the power of suggestion. And, as they say, Never understimate the power of suggestion.

It’s bullshit, in other words. What writers call gobbledygook. The chief tool of propagandists. A way of saying things without really saying them. A way shooting a sentence through the forest without nicking a single tree. A way to confuse the listener enough that he or she misses the absurdity in what you say.

It works because we are in the habit of fixing other people’s English on the fly. We must, because we all make errors in speaking even our native language on the fly. We start out a sentence one way, see it won’t work, and change some crucial grammatical element like the number of subject or the subject itself mid-sentence. Our listeners follow what we’re trying to say and correctly interpret the sentence anyway.

Experiments have shown that listeners naturally fill in words you leave out, without even realizing that you have left them out. They correct nonsensical phrases to make sense of them.

When, for example, Radar O’Reily rushes in crying, “Major Hoolihan went to get married to Japan!” we are but momentarily thrown overboard and instantly fix his sentence to “Major Hoolihan went to Japan to get married!”

Next time you’re listening to someone, pay attention to how many times you think, “Huh? Oh, he actually means this” or “He actually means that.”

That’s great. But when a particular person requires you to do too much of that, look out: it’s no accident. It just someone blowing a wall of blather at you.

It’s full of extraneous gobbledygook that makes it hard to follow what they are saying. Characteristically, these people put so many miles between the subject and verb, interrupting the thought with everything but the kitchen sink, that by the time your poor cerebral software gets the verb, it has forgotten what the subject was.

You are supposed to get confused and think, “Well, I don’t understand it but it must make sense.”

No it need not make sense! Run a logic check on everything people say before you let it into your head.

The administrator I mentioned above wasn’t nervous at all before an audience. To the contrary, he was in his glory. And he was perfectly capable of speaking perfect English to an audience when he wanted to. But when he wanted to avoid responsibility for what he was saying, he mangled his sentences; he left words and whole phrases out; he started sentences over so many times in the middle of one that there was no way to make English out of that gibberish. And don’t even get me started on the hints and innuendo. His charges understood exactly what he was telling them to do, though any direct quotes you could have supplied law enforcement authorities were nothing but innuendo and incoherent gibberish.

We see this now even in writing. It’s politically incorrect to expect even the most basic standards in email. Blowhards exploit this green light. When educated people, even writers and editors, cannot get through a sentence of email without some unbelievable spelling or grammatical error, or way-off misuse of a word, look out. They are doing that on purpose, to make it seem as though they typed this with blazing speed and cannot be held accountable for making sense or meaning what they say.

Why? Well, because this is email, Baby. And you know the rules of political correctness about email: we babblers can throw up smokescreens, confuse the issues, cloud the issues, sidestep the issues, and utter Nimrodean nonsense as freely in email as we do in speech. And it’s against the rules for you to call us on it. Ha-ha!”

And that’s why the victim blasts every argument of the abuser to smithereens. All she has to do is take his blather one piece at a time and say, “Huh?” exposing it for what it is – bullshit and irrational absurdity.

Narcissists and other abusers never do have a leg to stand on. Reason is never on their side. They never have even a single legitimate point to make. The wall of blather they throw at you is just an attempt to conceal that. It’s like the inky cloud an octopus exudes to conceal its escape route from a predator.

That’s why communication with a narcissist is impossible. Communication is another thing on that long list of things that the poor babies call “threats” to themselves. So, communication with them is impossible simply because they block it, throwing up this wall of flak to prevent anything you say from getting through.

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Thursday, September 20, 2007

A little more on feelings

Something I learned from tennis.

It is probably best to keep your feelings to yourself out there. The greatest players usually do. Pete Sampras, Chris Evert, Bjorn Borg.

They weren't phonies, acting as though their feelings were different than they really were. These players simply kept their feelings to themselves. Bjorn Borg, for example, would afterwards say that he was so nervous he could hardly hold the racket. But you couldn't tell that by watching him.

I have a friend who says he never believes anything his mind tells him during a tennis match. Which is the best advice I've ever heard.

But let's say that you have listened to your stupid mind and that it is getting to you. Maybe you do need to blow off a little steam, as a result. So long as you control your behavior to keep it within acceptable norms, it won't hurt anything.

Though it migh boost your opponent's morale. And that's certainly no good. Which is why it's usually best done with a touch of humor.

This might help with your narcissist, since narcissists compete with the other party in every interaction.

It may be best to keep your feelings to yourself. But that doesn't mean that you must be a phony. It doesn't mean that you must repress your feelings and delude yourself about what they really are. For, doing that is bad for you.

But does your N need to see an expression of those feelings? What's the point when an N just reacts perversely to them?

He or she will see through any phony facade you try to put on and smell blood. But if you just give NO reaction, that's different. That is not what an N wants.

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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

About Your Feelings

I was just trying to Google for a psychiatrist whose site talks sense about the harm in repressing your feelings. He even points out that we have a moral obligation to become angry over cruelty and injustice and abuse. Indeed, St. Paul rightly identifies the failure to do so as the indifference of the damned, who look the other way in consenting to the wrongdoing. Not the kind of thing good people do - just hypocrites who won't lift a finger to help those in need of protection.

But all I found is garbage about how angry people must "take responsibility" for their anger.

Do these parrots ever run a logic on anything before they start repeating it?

Then you must take responsibility for feeling cold. Or hot. Or in pain. Or happy. Or burnt. Or lonely. Or sad. For, according to these parrots, it's all in your head.

You aren't cold because it's cold. You aren't hot because it's hot. You aren't in pain because you are injured. You aren't happy because something good happened. You aren't lonely because you are alone. Or sad because something sad happened.

No! Your feelings are YOUR fault.

I am sorry, but they are being incredibly stupid. Obviously, they can't distinguish between a FEELING and an ACT. Yikes.

Maybe that's because all their "feelings" are just put-on acts. Do you suppose? I guess that if you are a phony, you get confused about the nature of true feelings.

But I say, if you get burnt, you should feel burnt. If you don't there's something wrong with you. If someone punches you, he is responsible for your pain, not you. Anger is emotional pain. So, if someone abuses you, he is responsible for your anger, not you.

That's just common sense.

You are responsible for your CONDUCT. Not your feelings.

And as for narcissistic ragers and their so-called "feelings," I have given numerous examples of how they are acting jobs, not genuine. (See Conceptual Clarity.) At least not until their huffing and puffing has whipped them up into a self-inflicted fury. So, when they throw one of their temper tantrums, nobody else is to blame for it - just them.

But real people have real feelings that are caused by outside sources. And blaming people for their feelings is just a sneaky way to blame the victim.

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Teaching Children to Blame the Victim

Via Biased BBC's Coverage of the Children's BBC Newsround 911 Guide:

Why did they do it?

Could it be because they are hate filled mass murdering psychos? Could it be because they need The Great Scapegoat to blame for every problem they have and all their inadequacies and the fact that they don't make or do or build anything there and all their social problems and all their political problems and all their economic problems? Could it be because they are deranged fanatics who have nothing better to do than listen to hate-mongering sermons and like to think that God wants them to murder people by the thousand for just being the wrong kind? Could it be because they're bad?

No! We mustn't blame the poor little dears for what they do!!!

The victim is the one who is bad. The victim is the one to blame.

For, boys will be boys. They are not not responsible for what they do. No, the ones they do it to are responsible for whatever they do.

So, you mustn't be guilty of their rage!

Infallibility, bestowed by the BBC.

Just like Hitler. The Jews were to blame for what he did to them, you know. Just like all abusers. The bully beats up the littler kid because the little guy MADE him mad, right? The batterer beats his wife because she MADE him do it. Right? The rapist raped a child because she asked for it, right? The unfair advantage isn't always one of size. But in any case, the bully can strike without fear of getting hit back. And ALWAYS we're handed the same bullshit.

Childhood, bestowed on bullies of any age by the brain-dead bystanders.

Because it's only CHILDREN you know who are not repsonsible for their own conduct. Narcissists and other terrorists never have to grow up.

It is shameful for the BBC that this garbage was allowed to fester for nearly five years on the CBBC Newsround site, polluting and shaping the minds of young people who don't know any better.

No, not shameful, shameless.

Am I the only one who sees on a massive scale what happens to the victims of narcissists on an individual scale? I don't think so. It's always the same old story, an ancient story. Because the human race never learns.

UPDATE: Though it's beside the point, I should point out that OBL had said nothing about the Palestinians before 9/11. (He seemed to despise them.) He was mad that the US had stationed troops in Saudi Arabia, at the Saudis' request, to protect it from an angry Saddam Hussein's Iraq. The Biased BBC article also mentions the legs the BBC gave conspiracy theories, despite OBL's celebratory video rejoicing over the 9/11 attacks and admitting that he is responsible for them.

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Sunday, September 16, 2007

A Narcissist's Ability to Become a Different Person

It was about this time of year when a narcissist went away to college as a freshman at the colossal University of Wisconsin in Madison. The next thing her family knew, she was a different person.

She had always been your good, clean-cut, all-American kid in high school. Got good grades. Went to Mass with her parents every Sunday. Was a cheerleader. Took part in athletics. Never touched drugs. Had a steady boyfriend who was himself a clean-cut all-American kid.

But in Madison, with no parents around to see what she did, she went wild. You name it – drugs, sex, riots – she was into it. Didn’t go to class. Partied all the time. Hopped into bed with anyone. As for Sunday Mass – she never went once. When her sister came to visit and expected to go, she announced that she didn’t believe in it.

She didn’t offer any explanation or relate her thoughts and reasoning on this. She just bit off the matter glibly by saying that she didn’t believe in it, period.

All within less than six weeks of coming out from under her parents’ roof.

Get it?

A typical narcissist’s transfiguration (see the eBook for more). It was like she suddenly was a different person. And The people at school who knew her now wouldn’t have recognized the person she had been just a few weeks earlier.

Anyone not born yesterday knows what happened. Since she could get away with bad behavior now, she did. Instantly she went wild. There was no gradual degeneration of her moral standards. Instead, they simply proved to be nonexistent. She thus proved that she had been a total phony before.

This equates with the frequent report that a narcissist goes wild after the death of a parent who exerted some control over them.

And there’s a warning in it. It means that the only rein on a narcissist is what they think they can get away with. That can and does change with circumstances over the course of life.

And when it does, you may get a nasty surprise. You may suddenly see your narcissist doing abhorrent things you never dreamed him or her capable of.

Simply because the only rein on a narcissist is what they think they can get away with. They have no moral restraint whatsoever. So, when external constraints are removed, look out.

This may explain why powerful narcissists seem worse. They may not be worse: it may be only that they can get away with worse, so they do.

This particular narcissist felt so uninhibited that she took a psychotic break when one of her roommates tried to talk some sense into her. Older students from elsewhere on the floor came running and literally held her down in what they later described in terms that remind one of an exorcism. They then took her to see her older sister in another town the next day, warning the sister that something was wrong with her.

Glibly the narcissist explained it all away to her family by saying that one of the girls’ cousins had slipped her LSD.

What she didn’t tell them is that she had begun a campaign of telling everyone in Madison horrible lies about them to make people feel sorry for her, in an effort to get some rich people who owned a bar on campus to adopt her.

So don’t assume that your narcissist’s assault-weapon mouth won’t be turned on you. Pay attention to what he or she tells you about others and know that he or she is going around saying as bad or worse about you, no matter who you are.

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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Is mental illness caused by chemical imbalance?

We often hear that elevated or decreased levels of certain chemicals are associated with mental illness. When you run across such statements, notice how slickly “are associated with” is treated as though it means “causes.” That’s fast talk.

Though high or low levels of certain chemicals are associated with mental illness, and though we know that they may be a result of it, there is no evidence whatsoever that they are ever a cause of it.

I know this because I have a degree in biology. Which is knowing far more than the average person but far less than the average researcher or clinician (I should hope). And when people who should know better don’t, I adjust my estimate of their credibility.

For the researchers and academics involved, there are grants to be got, papers to be published, and big names to be made. For the drug companies, there is money to be made manufacturing synthetic versions of these chemicals as “cures.”

So, just what are these “chemicals” that they are talking about?

They are transmitter substances, also known as neurotransmitters. Here’s how they work.

The nervous system is a system of wiring through which electrochemical current flows, much as in the motherboard circuitry of a computer. The wiring is made of cells, nerve cells. The connections between them are in the gray matter of the brain or spinal chord. From there, long fibers from some of these cells extend throughout the body.

Nerve cells don’t touch each other. So, how is the electrochemical current of a nerve impulse transmitted from one nerve cell to the next in a nerve pathway? When the impulse reaches the end of a stimulated nerve cell, that cell secretes a chemical into the gap between it and the next nerve cell.

This chemical is the transmitter substance. When enough of it accumulates in the gap – zap – the next nerve cell is stimulated by it.

Now, if another nerve impulse comes along before all the transmitter substance still in the gap has broken down, the new impulse could be weak and still get the next nerve cell to fire, because it would be using transmitter substance leftover from the previous impulse.

Do you see what happens here? The more you use a certain pathway, the more transmitter substance in the gaps accumulates. Then some researcher comes along, runs some tests, and says, “You have an elevated level of blah, blah, blah.”

Oh, my! But that is no disease. It is your brain working the way it is supposed to work. Indeed, this is what gives us memory – transmitter substances that build up and remain virtually permanently in a gap – like the one that remembers your birthday.

There are many different transmitter substances. They go by names like norepinephrine, noradrenaline, dopamine, and so forth. Each group/type of nerve fiber seems to rely on its own type of transmitter substance for nerve impulse transmission.

Here is an example.

After the death of someone near and dear, we are normally depressed for a while. The sad feelings and thoughts of grief cause the brain cells in those thought pathways to produce certain neurotransmitters in the transmission of these currents through the circuits they belong to. As the concentration of these neurotransmitters builds, it takes less and less stimulus to cause that sinking feeling we get in grief. So, the increased level of the "depressing" neurotransmitters makes us think more depressed thoughts, releasing more of these neurotransmitters that make us feel depressed and . . . . You can see where this is going. Runaway feedback into a vicious cycle.

At this point, some clinician could come along, run some tests, and say, “You have an elevated level of blah, blah, blah.”

But the elevated level of that chemical didn’t CAUSE your depression, did it? It is the RESULT of your depression.

The brain, however, is a marvelous organ with many built-in controls. For example, high levels of these "depressing" neurotransmitters also feeds back to lower the threshold for stimulation in the circuitry that makes us laugh. In other words, Nature endows us with a chemistry that enhances our sense of humor at such times. Things seem funnier. Not only during times of grief, but during times of trauma and great stress. This is what's responsible for the phenomenon known as "foxhole humor."

This counterbalancing mechanism is an excellent example of how the body protects and heals itself. So, normally, after our loss we get back into the rhythm of life and its distractions. We laugh again. Over time our happier thoughts and our natural desire to be happy gradually bring the concentrations of those "depressing" neurotransmitters down to normal again. This is why the depression caused by such events is viewed as normal (and perhaps beneficial in some ways) unless it lasts too long and runs too deep. Temporary medication with drugs that restore the balance quicker can help.

But, of course, a person disposed to depression by habitual thinking patterns or some ongoing cause will soon become depressed again when drug therapy is stopped.

Many illegal drugs have their effect by mimicking transmitter substances. Which should go to show the danger in artificially jacking up the level of a transmitter substance without knowing the effect of that high a level or how it may affect the levels of other, interactive transmitter substances.

In other words, it’s nothing to mess with. Indeed, you know all those powerful bug killers? Guess how they kill? By messing with neurotransmitters.

We accumulate gray matter as we use more and more of the potential pathways in our nervous system, making these connections. The brain continues to develop in response to our use of it at least until our mid-twenties and continues to change throughout life.

In many ways, we make it what it is by how we use it to move and think.

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Saturday, September 08, 2007

Sloppy Thinking

This is interesting... the BBC quoting itself....

This statement says that he is not a psychopath.

They cannot say that. Why ARE they saying that?

Why do they diagnose him as not a psychopath? Because he isn't foaming at the mouth?

So, psychopaths are not cunning manipulators who pass for normal, eh?

But I'm sorry, it's common knowledge that they are. COMMON knowledge.

I think the BBC misused the word "psychopathic" for "suicidal." Suicidal would make sense in that sentence.

But they have confused the two to make psychopaths sound like people visibly berserk instead of people who LOOK normal but are occultly sick in the head. Why? How can the world's most respected news organization make such an ignorant mistake?

They have confused psychopathy with insanity. Why?

By portraying psychopaths as wild, obviously insane suicidal maniacs they portray this man as what? Mentally healthy? Why?

Psychopaths are seriously mentally ill and yet expert at passing for normal. They are extremely cunning and manipulative. They are malignantly narcissistic by definition.

Human bombs are a whole other thing.


As usual, they leave out the demand that we convert to Islam and ditch democracy to make them stop attacking us. All the MSM do. Or they bury it in the second-to-the-last paragraph by mentioning it in passing. Every time. Consequently, there are billions of people who don't even know that those are the peace terms we've been offered, time and again, since before 9/11 even. I see no reason why this fact should be buried and suppressed. It sure doesn't indicate someone with a very tight grip on reality, does it?

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Dangerous Assumptions

I read a spy novel that explained how spies subvert and corrupt people from the other side to manipulate them. Deceit is the name of the game. The chief tactic is relying on the deceived to make ASSUMPTIONS he or she shouldn't make. Assumptions people don't even realize they are making.

We do this with narcissists.

For example, when they blow up, we assume that they do it because they feel offended or threatened.

That's an assumption that works works for Earthlings, not Plutonians. We show our temper on the premise that doing so will make an offending or threatening party back off. We aren't even tempted to blow up for any other reason. (It's an unpleasant state of mind that we avoid.) So we do this for strictly defensive reasons. We have no urge to use this behavior offensively just to run somebody over for the glory of doing so.

But don't assume that about narcissists. Fighting is something they don't mind at all. It works at getting them what they want, so they actually engage in it for no reason at all, just to push people around. My own experience makes me think that narcissists actually enjoy conflict and arguing and fighting.

Whenever you aren't playing the part they've scripted for you, they flip the switch into obnoxious mode to herd your behavior back in the direction they want. You know, like a cowboy herding a stray steer.

It works too, doesn't it? You will do anything to get that spoiled brat to stop screaming.

That's all they're doing.

They may seem about to blow a gasket, but it's just a mask. One of many they put on. Remember that they do everything for effect.

Not to express themselves.

This is a fundamental difference between them and us.

They are never expressing themselves: they are just making faces in a mirror. It isn't to express themselves: it is to manipulate YOU. They will use a frown just as readily as a smile or a punch as readily as a kiss - it's all the same to them.

Because it's totally utilitarian. Don't take it to heart. (They don't.)

The mask they have on at any given moment is no more indicative of what they are feeling inside than the Halloween mask of a child is. They are actors on a stage, 24-7-365. None of it is real.

Which is why narcissists can switch masks in the blink of an eye. (Which by the way is a red flag.)

Another example. If a narcissist senses that you are getting ready to leave him, he may change and work to keep you.

We assume that this is because we mean something to them. Ah, how comforting. That's very tempting to believe. We want to believe it with our whole heart and soul.

But this isn't because YOU mean anything to him, at least not in the way you think. Narcissists are parasites. They need a host. If they lose you they'll have to find another one, that's all.

In other words, you mean nothing more to them than you mean to a blood-sucking tick.

This is why once they have you won over and back again, they go right back to sucking your blood.

They are like machines in doing this, so don't take it personally.

Assumptions, assumptions, assumptions. It's very hard to remember you are dealing with people from Pluto, who aren't acting on normal human premises, so that you can't make the assumptions about their behavior that would be correct if you made them about a normal person.

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Friday, September 07, 2007

Narcissist Sympathizers II

I am often amazed at the cavalier attitude of some clinicians and bystanders toward malignant narcissism. They seem so concerned about how they SOUND that they have no concern left for what they're saying. Indeed, one wonders if these people ever hear themselves.

They are so busy trying to sound like nice people that they utter utter nonsense. The cruelty of narcissistic abuse is lost on them. It strikes no chord of empathy in them. They hear about it and just mouth-breathe as if to say, "What's so bad about that?"

Obtuseness is invincible. They talk like it's a mere irritation or aggravation. They say we should make nothing of it and not be angry over it. For, the simpletons cannot think morally and therefore must have a list of dos and don'ts as a cheat sheet to distinguish right from wrong.

Fortunately, good therapists would never tell you to repress your feelings. They would tell you that there are times when you have an obligation to get angry, and that failing to is sometimes the morally reprehensible thing to do. Just as failing to fight is sometimes the morally reprehensible thing to do.

But they aren't saying that to SOUND good, so they aren't as loud as the phonies are.

You can read what you need to know about malignant narcissism in the comments here. Those by the children of narcissists.

They are anonymous, so they have no motive to lie, and the stuff they tell that their abusive parent did to them is too bizarre to be made up. It isn't the kind of thing anyone would make up. In fact, it's antithetical to the kind of thing a person would make up. You can see that. It rings true louder than the Liberty Bell.

Read these accounts of narcissistic abuse and weep. Read back through.

I really want people who think that narcissistic abuse is no big deal to do that. And those who think that narcissists are not bad people and will be fine if you just give them a hug, a musical instrument, and a puppy.

These narcissist sympathizers who say that their victims shouldn't abandon the poor narcissist, because that will make poor little him or her so saaaaaaad (to be without a host to parasitize) - people who say that need a lesson that will teach them where to place their misplaced sympathy. Let them be told they are dirt every day in every way by someone close to them for 20 or 30 years. Let them have their reputation, career, and marriage utterly brought to ruin by character assassination. THEN let's see if they still think it's nothing.

Then let's see how well THEY are handling the life they've been dealt.

Thinking it's funny to force your child to do something you warn him in advance you will beat him for? Have you ever heard of anything more perverted and sadistic than that?

I have it from a narcissist herself that mental cruelty is her game.

Rushing your husband's funeral so that one of his children misses it? After you DROVE him to suicide? People who hear that without it twisting their guts have an empathy problem themselves.

Which must be why they are so callous that they just don't see what's so bad about narcissists.

And then the narcissist immediately shacks up with somebody else to give the knife in his or her kids a twist. That one not only appears in the comments here, I know of that happening once myself. In fact every narcissist I have known who lost a mate immediately (as quickly as fleas abandon a dead rat in search of a new host) hopping into bed with somebody else.

That should be a clue about something to clueless narcissist sympathizers. A clue about what other people are to a narcissist.

Driving people to drink? Driving people to suicide? No big deal? I'll wager that many, if not most, people driven to suicide are driven by a malignant narcissist. That's absolute power over someone = the power to make them kill themselves. I know of three narcissists who did this and fortunately succeeded only in driving to drink, and a third who I think did it and did succeed in driving a teenager to suicide.

Not murder? Not WORSE than murder?

Narcissists do this as lightly as you step on a bug. That's what human beings are to them.

And in treating human beings as subhuman beings, they are treating them inhumanly and failing to recognize humanity. Which means they don't know humanity when they see it. If they were human themselves they would recognize and respect the image and likeness of humanity in human beings.

That's what becoming God has done to them. It was a big fall.

If the abundant evidence about psychopaths is any indication, some narcissists come from happy homes. As for those who don't, hey, if they got even with the parent who abused them, that would be natural. But they deify the abusive parent (as soon as they out of his or her clutches) and take it out on the nicest, lovingest, most vulnerable and defenseless prey they can find.

Come on, everybody knows what that means. They are BAD people. I don't care if it's against your political religion's doctrine to admit that. It's true.

Narcissists are known for making the most mild mannered, gentle, patient, kind, and unassuming people livid with anger. They are known for making people who never hate hate them with a passion.

Jeez, do you suppose there could be a reason for this?

This is just common sense. Let the phonies (on the Web and in the clinics) find some new issue to sound holy on and quit making a farce out of this one. Let them find fault to condemn where it is, instead of where it ain't.

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Monday, September 03, 2007

Happy Labor Day

Narcissists don't know what they're missing.

They think it feels good to tell people they're defective. They don't know the tremendous gratification in telling people the opposite - that they're good people, that they did something right, that they did something well, that they have a certain admirable personal quality, that they didn't deserve the abuse they got from some pathetic creep who has to tear others down to feel good about him- or her-self, that they didn't do wrong (even if the whole brain-dead world parrots the idiocy that self defense and even hurt feelings of anger and sadness are sins), and that they reacted to torment the way any normal person does.

Jeez, that's nothing but the plain truth, but when you do it you are amazed at the power of the stroke. It brings great and infectious joy to them!

Talk about being "effective." Who wouldn't want to do that? Plus, it warms one all the way through.

And what does it cost you?

You see, comfort is a kind of love: you get it by giving it away. No narcissist ever learned that.

The poor blokes. No wonder they're so miserable they want everyone else to be.

Another thing they never learn is how to be team players. So, they never experience the fulfillment in being something greater than the sum of its parts.

They don't know what they're missing.

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